Bioshock Infinite's Ending: A Discussion

(While I don’t think it needs to be said, I’m going to say it anyway: If you have not completed Bioshock Infinite yet, or do not want anything about the game spoiled for you in any way, then turn back right now!)

I think the best place to begin describing all I can about the events that unfold in Bioshock Infinite’s ending, would be to start with Booker DeWitt’s pursuit of Elizabeth, right after she gets captured by Songbird. Some of the stranger events of the game begin to unravel from this point moving forward. It was already interesting to see the effects of Elizabeth finding tears in the time/space continuum, but we didn’t really understand any significance of it up to this point. When Booker finally raids Father Zachary Hale Comstock’s mansion (where Elizabeth is being held), he discovers an Elizabeth from the future, who has apparently been tortured for years, due to the Songbird always failing Booker’s attempts at rescuing her. You see shots of city buildings (also from this future) being fired down upon by zeppelins in a wave of destruction. Elizabeth then advises that years of brainwashing have caused her to develop Comstock’s mentality and overall cause. Comstock’s entire goal was to make Elizabeth become an heir of his, after he took her on as his adoptive daughter. Elizabeth gives Booker a piece of paper with instructions on how to control Songbird. She then asks him to prevent this future from ever happening.

After returning to the present, Booker rescues Elizabeth, and they make their way to finally confront Comstock at the top of his zeppelin. As Elizabeth and Comstock begin to talk, he suddenly turns to Booker and asks him to tell Elizabeth why part of her finger is missing. This actually wasn’t brought up much at all until this point in the game; you simply got a glimpse of Elizabeth’s pinky finger with a thimble over it earlier on, and that was it. Booker claimed he had no idea what Comstock was talking about, and eventually became so enraged that he drowned him. Booker continues to say that he has no idea what Comstock was talking about. Elizabeth proceeds to making an enigmatic comment, along the lines of implying he does know, but can’t remember at the same time.

After a large amount of fighting on top of the airship (now with the aid of Songbird, thanks to the sheet of paper that future Elizabeth gave Booker), the two make their way to the Siphon. They order Songbird to destroy it, in order to take off Elizabeth’s remaining limitations, and search for the truth about… well, everything. Booker orders Songbird to destroy the Siphon, which also destroys the instrument he was using to control Songbird with. As Songbird is about to attack them both, Elizabeth opens up another tear, bringing them inside a building, while Songbird is trapped outside underwater, and eventually dies of the air pressure.

If you didn’t already figure it out, the two are now in Rapture, the underwater city from the first two Bioshock games. They slowly approach the surface while Elizabeth explains that she now sees this is simply one of many realities and possibilities. This is talked about further as they enter through other doorways and begin to see other versions of themselves. Elizabeth continues to say that each reality that they see are part of an infinite number of realities they can enter based on choices made in life.

The two eventually come to a door to Booker’s past, and we finally get to learn the real meaning behind the sentence that’s been haunting and confusing us from the beginning “Give us the girl and wipe away the debt.” Robert Lutece comes back into the picture once again, uttering this sentence to Booker in his apartment. We now see that this sentence is actually Robert asking Booker to give up a baby girl (Anna DeWitt) in order to repay some type of debt (which is never explained, though horse race ticket stubs around the desk in his apartment suggest it was gambling). He is of course reluctant to do this, but eventually gives in. He almost immediately changes his mind, however, and goes after Robert. In an alleyway, he finds Robert, Rosalind, and Comstock (who is now holding Anna in his arms). Booker attempts to stop him, but Comstock and the others begin to escape through a tear themselves. Booker almost manages to pull Anna away from Comstock, but falls short as the tear closes, and severs a part of Anna’s finger. If it wasn’t clear by this point, Anna and Elizabeth are one in the same. Comstock took Anna and adopted her as his daughter, Elizabeth. The fact that Elizabeth’s finger was severed is implied to be the reason she is able to create and open these tears in the fabric of time, as her severed finger was a sign that she was a part of two worlds instead of just one by that point. This also finally explains why Booker had the initials “AD” carved into his hand, and why Comstock created “false prophet” propaganda in his own world. He was preparing for the day that Booker would once again try to take back what was his.

By this point, we are told that Robert was angry at the way Comstock treated Elizabeth, and worked with Rosalind to get Booker into to the world that Comstock took her to, all so Booker could rescue her. This moment changed a lot of the game’s perspective for me, because I immediately remembered all of the instances in the game where you would see both Robert and Rosalind talking to each other in very odd and cryptic ways, all from when they first brought you in on the boat during the game’s introduction. The biggest stand-out moment was easily when they asked Booker to flip a coin early on, with a chart to show how many counts of heads and tails were made. The game hinted that this was not the first time Robert and Rosalind had sent a Booker in to get Elizabeth back. The number of times the coin was flipped on their chart was the biggest giveaway to this notion, implying they were all flipped by other Bookers of different realities.

Following these events, it is now revealed that the reason all of the Bookers of the past were unsuccessful is because no matter what Booker does to Comstock, he will continue to exist in other realities. Booker then makes the determination that in order to finally stop Comstock once and for all, he has stop Comstock from ever being born. Elizabeth remains silent after hearing Booker propose this, and simply follows him. We visited a memory of Booker’s where he went to be baptized after the murders he committed during the Battle of Wounded Knee. Just before the baptism, Booker backed out at the last second. In another reality, however, Booker accepted the baptism. After this, he found religion, and as probably the biggest shocker in the entire game, became Comstock. Comstock had become sterile after being over-exposed to the Lucete technology that we’ve seen in various uses throughout the floating city of Columbia. He decided that he wanted an heir related by blood, and chose to abduct Anna from Booker’s world.

After witnessing the baptism in Comstock’s reality, Booker is now made clear of what he has to do. Different versions of Elizabeth all come to this same spot to help Booker carry out his mission. In order to prevent Comstock’s reign from ever occurring, he allows the Elizabeth’s to drown him. After this occurs, the other Elizabeth’s all fade away one by one, leaving the original, of whom the screen fades to black on, right before the credits roll.

Post-credits, we are given one final scene. Booker is back in his apartment once more, and cries out to Anna in the other room. He opens the door to see if she is there, and everything is back to normal. Just as the door opens, the screen fades to black once again.

I think some people believed that the drowning scene meant that Booker supposedly killed himself and everyone around him, but the scene after the credits pointed out that this was not the case. It was simply the Booker of the reality where he became Comstock, being put to an end. This also now implied that the Elizabeth that you traveled the entire game with never existed, now that all traces of Comstock were eliminated. We were also shown that while Booker could relive any of the moments in his life they were coming across through the doorways; these events could not actually be changed despite. Booker would have likely gone back and never given Anna away again if this were the case. This made me confused about how Elizabeth was still able to drown Booker, but then I went back and noticed that when she and Booker were visiting other past memories, they were still able to interact with each other, despite everything else still moving in its proper motion. This sort of explains how she was able to intervene in this particular case, since they had been doing so from the start.

Starting the game after knowing all of this, I guarantee you’ll immediately start seeing other things you didn’t before. The whole starting sequence about climbing to the top of the lighthouse, for example, was in Booker’s head up until the point where he recovered from allegedly drowning early on. You also will immediately notice Robert and Rosalind carrying you to the lighthouse by boat. In the beginning, you probably didn’t think twice about them or if they had any relevance. The dead man that Booker found in the beginning with the “Do not disappoint us” note, was likely from either Robert, Rosalind, or maybe even Booker himself, from one of the other attempts on saving Elizabeth in the past. I also heard somewhere that the 1-2-2 sequence of the bell ringing in this scene was supposed to represent the number of times Booker attempted this in the past.

I have to say, I’m still trying to piece everything together, even now. There are so many details about the game that I’m sure I haven’t yet realized, and so many I have theories about, but also can’t confirm. One of the first thoughts that came to mind (especially after seeing Elizabeth and Rapture once again), was the fact that Elizabeth looks a lot like the Little Sisters from the first game. I believe if I were to go back to the first Bioshock game and compare it with this new entry, I would find a bunch of similar qualities. What if Jack (the main character in the first game) was another version of Booker, and Comstock was Andrew Ryan (the first game’s antagonist)? After Elizabeth revealing the secrets of the space/time continuum and the lighthouse portals, anything seems possible!

One thing that definitely confused me then (and still does even now), is why these vigors (the powers you use in the game) are sold and advertised constantly throughout the game; and yet it seems Booker is the only one to take advantage of them the entire time. It also seems a little less believable that we’d see ammunition sold (and placed in garbage cans, alongside money and other random things), in almost every vending machine in the city. Once again, the citizens of Columbia do not appear to get any usage out of these items, despite them being scattered all throughout. But it didn’t really take away from the experience, so these were minor gripes of confusion at best.

One thing I felt a little off about (and I have other friends who can back me up on this), is that I felt that the world inside the game felt slightly limiting due to this being a first-person shooter. I think that if this was a third-person action adventure, we may have been able to get even more out of the story and gameplay itself. The shooter violence felt a little over-the-top and even unnecessary to me at times; feel free to disagree.

If Ken Levine were to make another Bioshock game after this, things would clearly never be the same. To put it bluntly, we now know too much about the game’s universe(s). There would have be one hell of a twist within a twist, within a twist. Though I suppose if anyone could do it at this point, it’d be Ken Levine.

And that’s about everything I had on my mind up until this point about the game’s ending and its effects on other Bioshock entries. Feel free to add on, agree, or disagree with anything I wrote up here. I’d love to keep talking about this ending, as I’m also really glad that there are still great writers out there who can make something this deep and thought-provoking possible in the first place.

Deadpool's Slicey and Dicey Review of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance! (PS3/Xbox 360 Game Review)

I don’t always review games, but when I do, they’re f@#king awesome reviews! Take this new one for example. You don’t know it yet, because it’s down below here, but it’s awesome. Oh so awesome. Now, you people know me. I like to blow things up and slice everything to little pieces, because that’s just the kind of reserved intellectual that I am. Well, I’ve got a new game that has plenty of both, but mostly that slicing part! (Oh, how I do love me those slicing parts!)

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is one of the most awkwardly titled games I’ve seen since… well, since Square Enix titled anything; period. But who cares about that? “What the heck is actually going on in this new entry?” is the question you should be asking, mainly because I doubt that I fully know myself. The game takes place after Metal Gear Solid 4, where everything should have ended, but Hideo Kojima decided “No, I still don’t want to make Zone of Enders 3 yet, so here’s another Metal Gear, because yes.” Now don’t get me wrong folks, I love me some Metal Gear! But Hideo can do other things. He really doesn’t have to keep making Metal Gear anymore. I think many were satisfied with the conclusion to 4, and didn’t expect more to come out unless it was in the form of another prequel. In fact, I heard this new one was going to take place after Metal Gear Solid 2, until that plan go scrapped; and now we have this awkward sequel where Raiden, the guy who performed some crazy-ass cyborg ninja skillz and then hung up the mantle to live a peaceful life, now returns to his crazy-ass cyborg ninja lifestyle. Once again, I couldn’t tell you the reason if I tried. It’s really not about the “why” in this case so much as the “how.” How does it play? How does it look? How does a game with a horrible camera system still get released in this day and age?

Promiscuous camera angles aside, the gameplay absolutely rocks! Imagine everything you’ve ever loved about God of War, Devil May Cry, Ninja Gaiden, and even Vanquish, and then imagine the Matrix films having its way with all of them (in a totally plutonic way!... >>). While you still run around like a madman, slashing anything in sight that you come across, you also have the ability to slow down time and literally cut in any direction you like. It will feel a little odd the first time you do it, but trust me; once you grasp the controls, it will feel like second nature, and that will feel awesome. I think the last time a game gave you this much freedom was Gravity Rush, and be honest; you don’t have a PS Vita so you have no idea what the hell I just said. The mobility is also quite nice. Is that helicopter shooting missiles at you? Then run/jump across those missiles and slice the crap out of his helicopter blades! Nanomachines, son!

The story is not as deep as the other Metal Gear games, since the focus is on all of slicey and dicey this time around (those sexy camera whores!). However, it does still contain a hell of a lot more story than most games of its type. You have access to the codec like you did in the other games, and can go through conversation after conversion about nothing and everything all at once. The cutscenes are also of reasonable length, and don’t feel too overly stretched or disappointingly short.

The soundtrack also deserves some credit here. It begins like your typical fast beats, guitar, and turntable sound effects, but you’ll quickly start to see it become a lot more once you get to the bossfights. You’ll hear the type of music I described above, but as the fight goes on, the boss’s health gauge begins to deplete, and you’ve got them down to about ¾ of it, that’s when shit gets real! Vocals suddenly come in to place, and the music gets much more prominent from there on out. It’s the perfect build up, just as you’re getting to the final rounds of the fight, and really makes the whole thing exciting as hell.

I can see this not appealing to some of the more hardcore fans of the Metal Gear franchise, simply because it’s very different from its predecessors, and that’s okay. I didn’t see a “Solid” next to that “Metal Gear” title. Did you? You sure? Really? I’ll let you check again if you want. No? Okay then. Personally, I think fans of the franchise will still find plenty to like. There are still bits of stealth (if you feel like it…, I don’t…), and even usage of the infamous cardboard box. It’s got all the ingredients of a good action game, and even a little bit more to separate it from that boring norm that we keep getting stuck with. Seriously, no more norm! It’s too mainstream!

Hipster Deadpool gives this game 8 meme jokes out of 10.

Seriously though, Kojima needs to stop making these. YES, I’ll keep playing them, but he needs to stop making them. Does that make sense? Who cares what you think!? Caring is too mainstream!!!

Deadpool's Fantastical Review of Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (PS3 Game Review)

It appears we meet again fellow readers. Well, good. I was getting bored and you obviously have nothing better to do with your time either. So how about listening to me review a game that’s been all the rage lately? No, it’s not Metal Gear Rising Revengeance (YET! Emphasis on the word YET! As in still coming soon, just not YET! So stay tuned… YET!), but rather a game that I wasted almost 40 hours of my life on. That game my friends, is Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch.

Ni No Kuni is a Japanese Role Playing game or JRPG (WHAT!? They still MAKE those!? *cue the face from Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” painting* I know you can picture it…) developed by Level-5; the group that gave us the kick-ass Dragon Quest VIII, Rogue Galaxy, Professor Layton series, Dark Cloud, and even a few wieners like the White Knight Chronicles series (Hey, I’m just as disappointed as you that the game was a failure. I wanted “Escaflowne: The RPG” to succeed, damn it!). This game takes a bit of a different approach from what many are used to in this genre (which is why I actually have the patience to review it with you now), trying to form a bridge-gap between ‘hardcore’ JRPG and ‘casual’ JRPG. In order to do this, they teamed up with Studio Ghibli, the genius Japanese animation studio, to make all of the game’s visuals and co-developed with Level-5 on pretty much everytang. I even heard the game got delayed multiple times just so they could make the story tug on our heart strings more. Those jerks! They know just how to get us… in the feels.


This game focuses on young boy named Oliver, who is eventually pulled from our world to enter a parallel one with magic, wizardry, and awkwardly named creatures like a sheep known as the “Baatender.” Poor Oliver loses his mother, and in his moments of grief and sadness, the doll his mother gave him (named Drippy, just cuz) comes to life, telling of wizardry and his true calling in life to enter this other world and save both of them in the process. As you can clearly see, we are dealing with some serious s@#t right here! NOTHING screams “psychotic breakdown theory” like this game’s plot. A boy just happens to escape to this fantasy realm while still trying to cope with the loss of his mother? Come on! At least when they put me away in a straight jacket, it’s because you know I legitimately went nuts, shouting “I’m Batman!” from the rooftops, while spying to to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch… Seriously though, what the hell do they see in that crap!?

Those who know JRPGs know that it’s all about the constant combat. So how does it fare this time? Well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. See, they tried to combine the free-form elements of the Tales series, while trying to mesh it with other elements of Pokemon. For the people who just went cross-eyed because they have no idea what the hell I just said, I’ll break it on down for ya. You and your party are able to move around anywhere on the battle plain to do attacks and spells. The battle will pause when you are selecting items from the menu, but not when you are scrolling through attacks or commands. It’s incredibly disjointed, bothersome, and all-around eww. Thankfully, you’ll like the game itself so much that you’re probably not even going to care. The game also lets you collect Pokemo- ah, I mean familiars, which you bring to battle with you. You can carry up to three familiars (pokeballs) at once per party member, with three others in your reserve. The remaining familiars get sent to Bill’s PC…, I mean storage.

So basically, imagine a 3D Pokemon game where Ash and the other trainers have the ability to fight with spells at the same time, and you’d be closer to gauging what the hell you can consider this game to be like. This isn’t as drool-worthy as it sounds though, so put your damn drool back in your damn mouth and let me finish. Your health bar for each party member is tied. If your familiar is getting weak, so is your character. If your familiar gets knocked out in battle, you are also knocked out. This can be incredibly annoying, especially when you’re trying to switch from one character to the other just to heal. One other annoyance is how some attacks will interrupt others in order to display a cutscene of that attack kicking ass. Oh, were you about to cast that healing spell on yourself? Well that’s a shame, because the boss just cast a fire spell that cancelled yours out and killed you. Joy! They give you a way to go into a defensive mode and lessen the damage you receive, but it doesn’t seem to work all the time when you command your whole party to do it, causing even more pointless deaths. Those phoenix feathers don’t come cheap, you know! Thankfully the experience is also shared, which means faster leveling. It almost compensates for the dying… Almost… *sobs*

As you travel around the world in the game, you’ll come across new spells, fables, and other interesting facts about monsters and regions to fill up your wizard’s compendium with. Unlike the Pokedex which mysteriously starts out empty… (Seriously, WTH Professor Oak!? You’re supposed to have a doctorate in freaking Pokemanz and you never registered ONE into the bloody thing!?), your wizard compendium comes chock-full of goodies right from the get go, and expands as you progress.

Your familiars can even evolve with the use of an evolution stone…, I mean with drops. (No, I’m not getting tired of making this joke. Shut up.). After they gain enough levels, they can use these drops to reach their next form. Unlike… that other game, your familiar will go back to level 1 each time that you do this, so don’t go evolving right before a boss fight, because you’ll just get destroyed… hilariously. The overall personality and story of this game are top-notch, and the biggest reason above all else to experience the whole thing from beginning to end. You’ll laugh at Drippy’s stereotypical British dialogue, cry at the really sad (and REALLY happy) moments, and even curse at the boss fights when they cheat you out of victory because someone forgot to block in time (even though you told them to… yay).

If you weren’t a fan of JRPGs prior to this, Ni No Kuni isn’t going to change your mind. It’s got most of the genre stereotypes that people love to hate (That same battle theme!? AGAIN!!!!? KGHAKDFHSD!!!), though many that fans of the genre will still love. This is one of those rare titles that people of all ages can appreciate however, with a charming little story, and messages that both kids and adults can benefit from. And hey, you even get the chance to “Catch Em’ All” in the process. A win-win baby!

8 Silly British Puns Out Of 10

And off I go, back into my “fantasy land of monsters to go save my mother from the evil White Witch.” Ahahaha, sure, that’s what’s really happening, Oliver. This isn’t a mind trip of yours or anything like that… >>

Was Edgar Allen Poe Just Heckling Us?

Edgar Allan Poe is known as one of the most influential authors of his time in terms of detective fiction (as he practically invented it), science fiction (as it was just on the rise of popularity), and of course, horror, as many of us already know. When his name comes up, people immediately think of stories and poems, such as ‘The Tell Tale Heart,’ ‘The Raven,’ and ‘The Fall of the House of Usher.” There’s no doubt that Poe was a very disturbed man; psychotic even, most likely. Despite all of this, there was more to his writing than just doom and gloom. To anyone who has never really sat down and read all of his works before (and I wouldn’t blame you for this, as there are many), you may be surprised to know that horror actually consists of a very small portion of the tales that Poe crafted. So what then, did Poe write more than anything else, if not horror? Humor and satire get the prize.

This may surprise some, as you wouldn’t normally picture a dark and dreary individual writing about things that make people laugh or think about the society around them. Let it be known that these works were quite Gothic in nature, regardless of the genre that they would later be placed under. What makes all of this so interesting however, is that such a large amount of his storytelling (over 30 short stories) all consisted of the humor/satiric nature, give a much better representation of what Poe was trying to do than any of his more “serious” work. His first ever short story, ‘Metzengerstein,’ was considered to be horror by some; and satire by others. Even with his first story, people were already debating what Poe was trying to accomplish. Do you see where I’m going with this yet? I’d like to present that alternate theory that some people seem too afraid (or in denial) to touch on.

From his first entry into short stories, all the way up to the horror stories considered to be classics by millions, Poe followed certain themes that carried through to each and almost every publication. These included death (the obvious one), irony (usually very cruel), and (dark) romanticism. Once again, no one ever seems to ask the question of why this is; and simply just accepts it instead. Why would he use overly dark themes like this? Some may think it was just to be metaphoric of his own life’s difficulties, but I think it goes much deeper than that. Edgar Allan Poe wanted people to break away from the bonds of conformity in everyday life. This was made apparent after his extreme criticism of didacticism (the notion of something being overly instructive, or educational, sacrificing enjoyment in the process). How did he bring people to do this very act? He put out story after story with completely over-the-top exaggerations of the Gothic genre conventions that we came to know. By being so explicit in his telling, this enabled others to make their own interpretations and break out of their own levels of conformity. This is why it’s possible to debate whether all of his stories were meant to be satire, or if Poe intended to create serious works of horror out of the tales considered as such. It’s still in debate today if many of Poe’s works had actual underlying messages within them, or if he was just “doing it for the sake of doing it.”

One of the biggest hints about Poe’s methods of writing came from a piece he wrote in 1838, called ‘How to Write a Blackwood Article.’ In this, Poe wrote a parody “how to” essay, involving the methods of writing a successful horror story, while also making fun of those very methods at the same time. (Anyone interested can read it here - http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/eapoe/bl-eapoe-howto.htm) The oddity of the whole thing comes from the fact that Poe actually lists examples of the very conventions he himself uses in the works that were considered horror. Some examples include:

“The first thing requisite is to get yourself into such a scrape as no one ever got into before.”

“If you know any big words this is your chance for them. Talk of the Ionic and Eleatic schools- of Archytas, Gorgias, and Alcmaeon. Say something about objectivity and subjectivity.”

“Above all, study innuendo. Hint everything-assert nothing. If you feel inclined to say 'bread and butter,' do not by any means say it outright.”

Are you all ready for the real kicker here? Edgar Allan Poe wrote ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’ the year after he wrote this very article. If you go back and read that story, and then compare it to the ‘Blackwood’ piece, I think you’ll find an odd amount of connections between the two in practice. What if Poe released ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’ just to point out that these very stereotypes he mocked in his previous work, actually do work on people? What if everything he’s written up to this point (horror included) has all really been pieces of satire all along? While I am not saying this is definitely the case here, I do feel that it’s worth examining, and maybe giving a second look into.

I can almost guarantee that if you now attempt to re-read Poe’s works with this new mindset, you'll be surprised with what you may find. I’m not saying that this is the “be all end all” of answers involving the meaning of Poe’s writings, but I do feel that there are too many connections here for me not to be on to something, and I hope others reading this may find similar discoveries themselves. If you have attempted this, or simply have other thoughts of your own on the topic, I would love to hear them. Thanks for reading, and I hope we can create an excellent discussion out of all this.

Deadpool's Historically Inaccurate Movie Review of Lincoln (2012)

You all thought I’d review something else next. You thought it would be The Hobbit (probably coming soon), Django Unchained (also hopefully and probably coming soon), or maybe even Les Misérables (who’s title I had to work real hard in order to get that accent mark right!). But NO; I picked something completely out of left field, and you people had better like me for it! No, I don’t care that everyone in the theater was probably old enough to have actually met the man back then. I had heard the acting in this film was incredible and that it was pretty much a must see for history buffs. So, you’re probably asking why YOU should bother reading this review if you don’t care about any of that stuff. The answer is simple. I RULE you bitch! I’m Deadpool, and I know what’s up! Plus, it’s the kind of movie that just about anyone can appreciate, regardless of what genre of films you’re into… But mostly it’s just because I rule you…

This film focuses on the last four months of Lincoln’s life, mainly covering his insane attempts to pass the Thirteenth Amendment and kick slavery in its private areas. Daniel Day-Lewis is eerily good at playing Lincoln. Of all the descriptions I’ve ever read of the man, this was the first time I can honestly say I felt like I was watching “President Lincoln as… PRESIDENT LINCOLN!” He displays all of the traits you usually read about in books, but don’t actually see on-screen; one of the most notable being his ability to calm down and charm just about everybody during their most tense of moments, by telling funny old stories from his past. There’s a kind of warmth that you feel coming from his acting ability that makes me feel weird feels that I should probably talk to my doctor about. This man really is a living, breathing Abraham Lincoln, and it’s incredible.

When he’s not out hunting vampires, Lincoln can be seen speaking with all kinds of people, from all parties, races, etc. The movie also perfectly conveyed the fact that everyone around thought he had built one too many log cabins over the cuckoo’s nest, when he decided he wanted to get this amendment passed. The (ironically not) Civil War was nearing its end, and the Emancipation Proclamation was on its last two legs. The mission, should he choose to accept it, was to get that amendment passed BEFORE the Civil War reached its conclusion; that way, the slaves who were freed in order to fight the war wouldn’t be enslaved once again after the war’s end.

We also got to see a strong performance from Tommy Lee Jones, playing the Radical (and I totally mean that in the cheesy late-80’s kind of way) Republican Congressional leader, known as Thaddeus Stevens. While I truly felt like every other part in the film was dead on, to the point that I felt like I was there, it also felt like Tommy Lee Jones time traveled to be a part of this. Don’t get me wrong, his part was among one of the best in the film, but I guess… I don’t know; I’ve just seen him in too many other films to feel like he’s really part of this era. He came off more like a member of Time Squad; here to make sure that history flows through its natural course… which is awesome.

Another key player in this movie was Sally Field playing Mary Todd Lincoln. I forgot about how nuts this woman was, and it was nice to see someone who could play her properly. As you all know, I like me the crazy ones! I found it quite hilarious when she made a comment near the end of the film along the lines of “They’re only going to remember me for being that crazy lady that you put up with,” because that’s more or less what actually happened. Kudos to her for being such a good sport of it all! I’d have gladly jumped in with her to start screaming random obscenities at my badass lumberjack husband, for what seemed to be mostly insignificant reasons.

The bulk of enjoyment you’ll be getting out of this film will come from the amazing acting, the hardcore verbal political debates (which ended up being surprisingly edgy, but in a fun way), and the ways that everything comes together for the main characters this film focuses on. I would have liked to see more about Lincoln’s actual assassination, but I suppose they felt that adding John Wilkes Booth to the cast would have set up too many other plot threads that they didn’t have time for. The movie is already about two and a half hours, so it’s understandable… though it still sucks. I wanted to see him and his funny mustache attack the stage and give this movie an ending that NO one would forget! ... Yes, I’m getting help; stop asking.

For what it’s worth, this movie was pleasant, charming, and a bunch of other fancy words I’m not mature enough to think of. It’s a nice alternative to the continuous patterns we see with “Die Hard 11” and “I Know What You Did Last Paranormal Activity.” Even if you don’t find history to be your bag, I think you may surprise yourself with this one. I mean, I’m a deranged psychopath and I thought it was pretty swell. Get your intellectual on!

9 out of 10 Lincoln Logs

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be off to work on my super secret project… the next issue of my comic, which has no connection to this review whatsoever! … Or does it?

Manga Review: Skull Man Vol. 1

Shotaro Ishinomori is a legend among many fans of manga, anime, and tokusatsu. Not only did he create the Cyborg 009 manga, released in 1963, but he was also the creator of the original Kamen Rider series from 1971, and the original Super Sentai series from 1975 (called 'Himitsu Sentai Gorenger' for you historians out there). These titles and many others helped shape the foundation of what a Japanese superhero consisted of. Kamen Rider is especially worth noting at this point in time, because the Skull Man was Kamen Rider's very inspiration. While Ishinomori was developing the plot for the Kamen Rider TV series with his producer, he wrote this manga as his own personal envisioning of the character. Because the original story was considered too dark and violent for children, the producers had to change a lot of the content in order to make it more appropriate for television. The manga itself (Ishinomori only released one volume) ended up being a huge success. It featured one of the first known antiheroes in manga, as well as a story that was considered quite edgy and gruesome for 1970.


To this day, the one volume of Skull Man has never been released in print form in the US. I was able to read it however, thanks to the power of (legal) digital distribution. Comixology, a well known site/app for digital comics and graphic novels, recently released multiple series put out by Ishinomori. This includes Cyborg 009, Kamen Rider, Kikaider, Inazuman, and of course, Skull Man; all translated into English.

So is this volume of manga and toku history really worth all of the hype behind it? By today's standards, it may not be quite the controversial piece it was at the time, but I do still feel it made for an interesting action/drama/revenge story. It opens with some wonderfully drawn scenery, followed by some quick action to paint the scene, all without any dialogue for the first few pages. Unlike Kamen Rider and other Japanese heroes, the Skull Man only goes out to fulfill his own goals, and has no remorse for killing anyone who gets in his way. It's finding out what motivates him in such a way that makes this read so compelling, along with his always-confident and cocky attitude. Even if some of the plot points come off to be cliche in this day and age, it's still good enough writing on its own merit. It also has an ending that, while quick and unsettling, is definitely sensible, as well as a good topic of conversation.


The artwork is simple, but artistic at the same time. It's reminiscent of Osamu Tezuka (Astro Boy, Nextworld, Princess Knight, and many others), and for good reason. Tezuka was Ishinomori's mentor, and had asked Ishinomori to be his assistant when working on the Astro Boy manga. Small world, isn't it?

One more important thing to mention about this single volume is it's length (or lack thereof). It's a total of about 94 pages, almost half of the length you'll get in manga books today. While the story itself did not suffer because of this, the abrupt nature of the ending will likely leave you feeling that things finished up a bit too quickly, and could have been drawn out more. Some would argue that this issue was rectified in the 90's when Ishinomori asked Kazuhiko Shimamoto to create a remake of his work, with a longer, more complex story. The remake spanned a total of 7 volumes, fleshing out many more plot details that were otherwise left out of the original. There was also a 13-episode anime series released by Studio Bones with a similar goal in mind. All of these projects are worth looking into if you find yourself enjoying the original volume.


As it stands now, I have a bit of a hard time recommending this volume to people who aren't normally interested in manga, or classic manga for that matter. The book is short, and may not seem very special to anyone that isn't already a huge fan of action anime/manga and tokusatsu (especially Kamen Rider). To those who are fans however, this is an essential read to what was a very historic moment in manga and toku history, and it's great that we're finally getting the chance to read these once iconic stories legally and with English translations.

7 Out Of 10

Why Steam's Holiday Sale Isn't Really Grabbing Me This Year

Wallets all over the world cry out in fear whenever game distribution software Steam (from Valve corporation) unleashes its winter and summer sales each year. The prices on these PC games don't just get low; they get stupidly low, to the point where you feel like a fool for not participating. Dead Island: Game Of The Year Edition was $6.79 for example, and Skyrim was just under $30. Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition with all of its downloadable content is $13.49 as I type this. It's absolute insanity, and if you're a PC gamer, you already know about it. For some reason however..., it's not quite the same this year. I don't know about anyone else, but this year, I'm not seeing myself particularly excited for any titles on sale, though I am still checking each time a deal updates just in case. I have a few theories about what's causing this lack of excitement however, and want to know if anyone else is looking at things the same way as me.

The first theory is that I've simply bought so many titles from the previous sales, that there's not much left to interest me anymore, other than a few choice titles that came out this year specifically. If this is the case, the I obviously can't blame Steam for it, but I think this issue goes a little deeper than that...

The second theory (and pretty much the most important one to me), is that Steam isn't adding much incentive in the way of purchasing things besides the sale prices themselves anymore. Other than a few games like Killing Floor, which added a new Christmas-themed scenario, there's nothing to really keep us coming back to these games. The previous year, there was plenty to do, just as there was the summer before that. Steam added special holiday achievements, which you had to complete by purchasing and downloading certain games, and actually playing through certain scenarios with something pertaining to the holidays. In Killing Floor, you had to defeat an evil Santa; in Trine, you had to find an item resembling a present; in The Binding of Isaac, you had to defeat Krampus, the demonic companion creature to Saint Nicholas (who is supposed to frighten the bad children, while Saint Nicholas rewards the good, but I won't go into that right now. You have Wikipedia, don't you?).


When you gained an achievement in the game, it would reflect back on your Steam profile, and would either gift you with a piece of coal, or a reward, like a free game or a coupon for a popular one. If you had enough pieces of coal, you could also trade them for another real reward. This was absolutely great, as it got me going back to games I thought I was long-since done with prior. It's not that Steam has to keep doing these things every year to keep me coming back and looking at what's on sale each season, but for the people who already have everything else they want from the site, I think it's a great way to keep people coming back for more.

Is there anyone else in the same boat as me here, or do all my PC gamer friends simply not pay attention to little details like these?