Deadpool's Review Of Mortal Kombat (PS3/360)

HEY! YOU! GET OVER HERE! ... No, I wasn’t being cute! Sit yourself down over there and listen to what I’m about to say! Why should you listen to what I want to talk about!? Because it involves the words “MORTAL” and “KOMBAT” in the same sentence you ninny! Now now, I know what you’re thinking; “Uncle Deadpool, the old Mortal Kombat games were so ridiculously cheesy! Who was throwing the tomatoes!?” The answer to that is very simple… I was throwing the tomatoes! And I would have again too, but they kind of found out what I was doing and took my tomato-throwing license away! *sniff* Those things are hard to get you know…

But NO you foolishy foolish fool! This is different from those times! We’ve got creative teams that actually KNOW how to make a fighting game where you don’t use the same character model for more than half the people in it! A creative team that knows how to put some personality into a series that many were starting to feel was going down the drain faster than that broccoli my mama Deadpool made that I pretended to eat. Mom, if you’re reading this… Justin did it. That’s right! I can sell out my own writer! I’m Deadpool, bitches!!! … But no seriously, finish this up Justin; then you can go. Hehehe…

The graphical overhaul is the first immediate thing noticeable. We’ve got ourselves some damn good graphics to go with some damn good scenery and some damn good character models… Except for Sheeva… That is just something that should have never happened to anyone ever… Some of the levels are even taken straight out of the original games, and that’s just pretty. Everything flows smoothly together and you’ve basically got the Street Fighter IV/Marvel vs. Capcom 3 equivalent to the Mortal Kombat series. What that means is you get awesome 3D graphics on a 2D plane, just like the glory days. But wait! There’s more!!!

The absolute biggest difference about this from past MK entries is the touched up combat and controls! We actually have a DEEEEEP fighting engine to go with all the mayhem. On top of an already excellent combo system, you’ve got a new super meter. Once built up all the way, on top of using some crazy COMBO-BREAKAS, you can unleash an even crazier X-Ray attack. This attack will have the game’s camera zoom in on the two players, while one does something literally bone-crushing or organ-crushing to the other, and you get to see it in all its devastating glory. Mmmm… glory…

Game play modes include Story Mode, giving you the entire story of Mortal Kombat 1-3 with some good ol’ fashion comic book-style retconning (I’d like to say no clones were involved in said retcon… I’d really like to…). You also get the classic Arcade Mode, Challenge Tower Mode, Online Mode, Fatality Training Mode, and Tag-Team Fighting Mode (actually allowing two players to fight together instead of against each other. Togetherness!? In MY Mortal Kombat!? It may be more likely than you think...).

The sound effects and music in the game are pretty much top-notch. The tunes are rockin’ and the strikes and blocks are as effective as they can be for this type of game. The voice acting isn’t exactly what one would call perfect. Johnny Cage’s voice actor is so bad, I didn’t even feel sorry for him when one character spent a whole part of their chapter beating him up because he wouldn’t shut up… And this is coming from ME!!!

The game also has some unlockable goodies; the best being more characters to rip your friends apart with. The rest include another costume and some secret battles. Not the biggest roster of hidden stuff, but not the worst either, as they certainly give you a lot up front, don’t you think, you lazy selfish clowns?

The bottom line is that this game is all-around bad-assery at its finest. Even if you’ve never been a fan of Mortal Kombat or 2D fighters in the past, you may still find a lot to like about this cheesy, bloody masterpiece. The engine was worked on ten-fold and the development team deserves some serious kudos for the upgrades. Give it up people!!!

9 Bloody Fatalities Out Of 10

But now I must be off! I’ve gotta see a man about a fake tomato-throwing ID… Hehehehehe…