Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Deadpool's Unnecessary Review of The Hunger Games Movie

Greetings, salutations, and hi. This is Deadpool. Tonight’s game? Hunger. It can be a beastly game indeed; especially when you battle it day in and day out because the only thing you’re good at is killing people, therefore making it hard to collect said money from them… And I would know; I’m that guy I just described there…

So what is The Hunger Games? To sum it up as briefly as I can, it’s a series of three novels involving a somewhat dystopian future, where an evil Capitol has conquered its districts that once tried to form an uprising against them. To punish its people further, the Capitol has an event called the Hunger Games (AAAAAH, THAT’S THE TITLE, OMG I GET IT NOW) where it takes a boy and girl from each of the districts, and forces them all to fight to the death in a large arena. Sound like Battle Royale? Well… yeah, it does... Thankfully it’s not the same when you actually read them both and compare notes, so STOP bitching about that already and move on with your lives! You know who you are… *glare*

The first thing one will notice when watching this film is that the creators have clearly decided that they wanted to upstage the movie The Blair Witch Project, by competing with them for most shaky camera of all time! I understand that the directors were going for a realistic approach, but blurring everything from ones line of vision doesn’t do that. All it does is make me question whether I drank too much before the movie instead of after, even if it was true in this particular case… *hiccup* Yadontknowme...

The main character of the story is a girl who’s thrown into all of this, and goes on to be a part of the games after offering herself as tribute to save her younger sister from the same fate. We also encounter all sorts of strange and interesting characters throughout this story. Effie is a Japanese anime character come to life, President Snow is a badass you’d never want to meet in a dark alley, and Haymich is… Well…, he’s me in real life; there’s no other way to describe it. Almost all of the characters are very unique and memorable. It’s an ugly/beautiful thing.

The presentation of the movie (minus the camera man having seizures!) was ridiculously well done. Some of the most beautiful CG landscapes I’ve seen all year were present, and the strange outfits of the members of the Capitol were also quite stunning. You really do start to feel like you’re being thrown into this whole other part of the world you never could have imagined, right before being thrown into an arena to kill everyone in the vicinity. Yeah.

So how is the actress who plays the main girl (Katniss)? Happy to report she carries out her parts quite well, even when she’s not playing a teenage version of Mystique from the X-Men. Is she exactly like the Katniss I imagined from the books? Maybe not, but it’s hard to complain when you’ve got an actress that more or less did everything she was supposed to. When she really gets into character, she does it quite well. She has this really intimate moment with her bow and arrow where…; well, let’s just say it would make sex jealous, the way she caresses and presses her lips against that thing… >>

Since there are people out there that will want to nit-pick the differences between this film and the books, I’ll give a shout out to them as well… HOLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! There, that’s it…

No, seriously; the differences between the book and movie weren’t that large, and they got all of the major details right. It was just little things like some of the back-story between the characters and the expositions that occur in Katniss’s head during all of the events that changed things up a bit. In place of the inner-monologues, we get some announcers and such summing up everything going on. Another change of pace is that, while the book left you wondering what was going on in the outside world as Katniss was thrown into all of these events, the movie gives you a full-on look at what’s going on during every major moment. It’s an interesting touch that leaves a little less to the imagination, but much more to the eyes. Huuungry eyeeees… I feel the magic between you and Iiiiii! Admit it; you read it like the song in your head just now. Tee hee! Seriously, shoulda been in the soundtrack…

It’s hard to find many faults in this film unless you’re simply finding issue with the story itself. And hey, that’s an understandable thing to do in this case. The plot sounds absolutely ludicrous on paper (not including the paper of said actual book). When people told me what the plot of this book was (and after I got over how it sounded just like Battle Royale), I simply laughed a bit, thinking “Oh, that’s so dumb…” Then I actually started reading it just to prove to myself it was nothing special… And now I’m admittedly hooked like the rest of the world. Damn you good characterizations over a mainly sub-par plot!!! You get me every time! It’s all “Ooooh, no, it’s silly. You’ll see. It’s just a stupid little thing.” And then BAM! Hooked like a bloody trout on open season. Whether or not you love the stories, you’ll still be interested enough to see where the author is going with them. You’ll also probably want to buy a mockingjay pin like I did… twenty times… and am completely overpricing on eBay. ^_^

So overall, I would say that this movie is pretty damn good (excluding that fact that I wasn’t in it to kick all of their little asses to the curb). Some will have a hard time getting past the caffeinated camera crew, while others may or may not find the plot a bit ridiculous. Others like yours truly, and every other male/ female of the world, will probably enjoy it for exactly what it is rather than what it is not.

8 Totalitarian Districts out of 10

While waiting for the second film, I think I’ll start my own Hunger Games. It involves throwing Justin Beiber in with Jersey Shore cast members and all the people that worked on X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Oh yes; this will work out quite nicely. May the odds be ever in your favor bitches!!! I’ll be rolling in my mockingjay pin cash. Toodles!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Rocksmith Experiment (Weeks 2 And 3)

I had a bit of a hard time piecing together how these two weeks really worked out for me, and the reason may surprise some readers. The first thing I'm going to mention is that I did very little during the second week of this experiment, mainly due to other things occupying my time, and some days where I came home from work super tired (Coffee can only get you so far into the day...).

The next thing I'm going to point out is how despite playing less of the game itself, the time I actually practiced on my guitar did not. It seems that as I continued to play the game more and more, I kept feeling the urge to stop, practice a technique demonstrated in a song, and then test it out in the game. With this, I think I've finally begun to figure out what this game is going to mean to me as a whole. While I wouldn't substitute any type of instructor for this, I can definitely say it teaches many basic and essential techniques one would need in order to get started on the instrument. While I knew most of these basic techniques going in to it, the game has a way of knowing whether I'm putting the right pressure on certain notes, and even goes so far as to relay proper finger positions for things like chords and hand-shifting.

I think my desire to practice more outside of the game is stemming from the fact that I simply feel disappointed in myself when I can't pull off a technique or a switch that seems so easy to me in theory. I also continue to practice with the hopes I'll get better at reading and playing notes by ear and verbatim. That's not to say I won't want to try more difficult things as I go on, quite the contrary in fact.

I'm beginning to appreciate the game's choice of song selection more than I did initially. This is because they really did pick songs to cater to the beginner player, as well as choose songs that properly demonstrate a lot of the techniques they are trying to teach. The ability to play the song has just as much to do with hitting the notes properly as well as having the correct timing. I will go as far as to say that timing has never been my issue (as my Guitar Hero Expert level playing will demonstrate), but simply my ability to read and combine the notes fast and tightly enough.

I believe if I can properly train my hands to sync with the speed that my eyes and mind work, that I may have actually have a decent play ability in front of me. I look forward to mastering more techniques while checking out everything else this game has to offer me through that process. I think I'm starting to see this game as more of a practice tool than something I can necessarily learn from, but that is by no means a bad thing, as learning and mastering all the regular and downloadable songs is a learning feat in itself. Being able to hit the correct notes and combine it with the proper timing is what makes the master, and that is just what I intend to keep doing. I hope to update this again really soon.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Why I Haven't Gotten To Start Mass Effect 3 Just Yet...

Well, it would seem I was not destined to play Mass Effect 3 like the rest of the world just yet. I pre-ordered the game on Newegg.com because they had a $12 off coupon. Being able to get the game for $47.99 instead of $59.99 is a pretty sweet deal, and I didn't want to pass that up. You can imagine my shock and awe when I opened my package to see non other than...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Dun dun DUNNNNNNN!!!!

After recovering from that traumatic encounter, I immediately looked at the receipt paper included, which also noted "Madden 12" as the item shipped with my info. After this, I decided to pull up the site to see if this happened to anyone else. I then noticed an email from them regarding this particular order. Check the image below.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

So to sum it all up, this has happened to other people, and I'm supposed to be getting a call from a rep tomorrow to get Madden returned back to them, and Mass Effect 3 over to me as soon as possible. Now, I'm not so much mad at the site (as Newegg is amazing, as anyone who's ever bought from it can tell you), but I am a little bummed I still won't get to play Mass Effect 3 just yet as a result of this. Also, one thing is for certain. I also bet that someone is probably getting fired for this one. Just one of those "wow" moments...