Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Deadpool's Excitably Excitable Review of The Avengers: Age of Ultron

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EEEEEEE!!!!!! It's finally out, it's finally out!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*ahem* Ah, excuse me. Sorry. So I guess you may have noticed that the new Avengers movie is out and I'm just trying to regain my composure after seeing it. Marvel movie events (especially of THIS grand a scale!!!) are always a big big deal. It's no coincidence that Free Comic Book day also happens to follow it. Marvel knows how to hop people aboard the HYPE TRAIN, and it doesn't seem to be showing signs of letting up anytime soon. These movies are more than just stand alone products, but rather pieces of a larger narrative that always seem to come to a head around the time a new Avengers film hits the theaters. Now, let's be honest here; there was NO way a movie like this was going to live up to the hype that people set for it, especially after the first amazing entry. I guess what I'm saying here is people need to take time to enjoy things more and shut the hell up! Quit being so nitpicky all the damn time. Ah, language...

Okay, so I'm going to be a little nitpicky, as it's a review and that's just how these things work. Deal. Funny thing about this movie; it actually has NOTHING in common with the Age of Ultron comic of the same name. Why am I okay with this? Because that comic was actually disappointing as all hell for many readers, myself included! Joss Whedon only went with the title because he thought it worked well in the grand scheme of things. So if you're trying to complain that the movie doesn't resemble the comic in this case, you're likely just trying to sound cool or hipster-y, with your deerstalker hat and Starbucks coffee in hand at all times, like your life depended on it. You don't need that kind of hat in the spring time, damn you!!!

The plot to this movie is a bit more scatterbrained this time around, but it still works. After recovering Loki's scepter... again, Tony Stark convinces Bruce Banner to aid him in helping create Ultron, an alleged global defense program. This obviously does not work, because this movie would have been insanely boring otherwise. Ultron is alive and absolutely insane, hellbent on destroying all humans in order to "fix" the world. What's a superhero team to do!? That's for me not to spoil and for you to WATCH. (Seriously, why are not watching this already!? Is this part of that hipster-y thing I mentioned above?)

It wouldn't be big Marvel movie without NEW CHARACTERS to fit the bill!!! This time, we are curiously given both Wanda and Pietro Maximoff (ie. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver). We've now seen Quicksilver in two movies (though I would argue his portrayal in this film was better than in Days of Future Passed), but this the first time we've ever seen the Scarlet Witch in anything live action from Marvel's side! Unfortunately, her character is actually pretty poorly depicted, though part of me is just happy to get her over-powered butt into these films finally. Their addition into this cinematic universe is weird as hell too, mainly because Fox still owns the rights to X-Men movies, and these two characters are clearly from the X-Men universe (as they are literally the son and daughter of Magneto himself!! CERMIC BERK TRIVIERR!!!11!!!!1!!). The Vision also makes his triumphant debut into the Marvel films with pretty positive results. His costume design and look are a little different from the original comic design, but it looks just fine to me.

This movie has some serious action; SO much action that you almost forget there's a plot from time to time. Thankfully, the plot that we CAN see in this is pretty good, albeit being more jumbled than a rubber band ball. Without going into too many details, you will feel like quite a bit is happening all at once, without feeling too overwhelmed from colorful superhero goodness at the same time. More elements were changed around from the comics books (Ultron's Origin, the birth of The Vision, the backgrounds of Wanda and Pietro, etc.), but this was to be expected. These things really don't have to be the same in order to be enjoyable, and I was still giddy like a 5 year old on Christmas morning despite.

The soundtrack is once again handled by mah boi Danny Elfman, who knows how to hit just the right notes and make these movies really sing. I can't even imagine these movies without his chops to back it all up. The visuals are also nothing short of incredible, as even I have a hard time figuring out when I'm looking at a green screen or actual scenery. I hope I can figure that out by the time I finish filming my own movie. When you stand in front of that screen, ANYTHING is possible! I could be running past dinosaurs with laser beams attached to their heads, while sliding across a rainbow into a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, and wouldn't even realize!... And on that note, this now HAS to be a thing in the movie! It doesn't matter the reason. Dinosaurs with Lucky Charms, people!!!

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People are going to have different thoughts on Black Widow's portrayal in this movie, but I don't really think they did her character justice in this one. After seeing a hell of a lot of great development from her in Winter Soldier, it was kind of disappointing to see Whedon take her back to the same place he had her around the time of the first Avengers film. I understand there's a lot of other characters you need to focus on in movies like this, but I wish we could have seen her as more than just that troubled woman throwing herself at a guy to make all her problems go away. One thing they did do right this time around was Hawkeye's development. After getting almost nothing about him information-wise last time, this was a great step up for his character, and the way that the rest of the team sees him.

So the movie has fights... LOTS OF THEM!!! Like, holy crap, martial arts movies would be jealous of the amount of fights this movie contains! If you came for action, you will not be disappointed. It was fast, frantic, but most of all follow-able (F to the third???). I can imagine people talking about the "Hulkbuster" scene alone for years to come. I'm still trying to figure out how Hawkeye mysteriously never runs out of arrows, but I really don't want to be "that guy." Trust me, you NEVER want to be "that guy." Something that made the action even more interesting was that unlike The Man of Steel, and other such comic book movies, the Avengers actually take the time to SAVE PEOPLE in this! I don't remember the last time I saw actual lives being saved in one of these, and it was refreshing to finally see for a change. Personally, I'll probably be doing the exact opposite once my awesome movie rolls around, but hey, that's to be expected. These people have a job to do! I do a different kind of work. It all comes with the territory (stabby stabby stabby).

8 Cap Language Jokes Out Of 10

At the end of the day, this movie was pretty boss, despite pacing issues and the other gobbledygook I mentioned above. Seriously, this is the stuff to see in the movies right now! You will not regret it, even if you do come out feeling a little underwhelmed. I'm more psyched about my own movie however. Now, how am I going to pitch to Fox that we need to throw in a dinosaur with a laser beam attached to its head in this?...

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