Monday, August 17, 2015

Deadpool's Powered-Up Movie Review Of Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection 'F'

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

MOAR DEE BEE ZEE!!! Every time you think it's over, more of it comes back to slap you in the face and call you horrible names behind your back. I have to say, it's a complete shock to me (even a few years later!) that we're still getting more Dragon Ball Z at this point. This series had 293 epic... -ally drawn out episodes with action, shouting, and declarations of who the greatest warriors in the universe are. And fans are STILL NOT DONE! On top of these new movies (of which we are now on numero dos), there is also a new series called Dragon Ball Super, which appears to be the same story of these movies, but longer and more drawn out, so you can all continue to live out that "To Be Continued..." fetish that you love so much. But one glorious testosterone-infused thing at a time here, people.

What's this new movie about? I'm glad you asked... FRIEZA IS BACK MOTHERF#&KERS!!! That's right folks. That no-good, whiney, angry, lies-about-his-"true final form," "behold-my-circular-ears," "longest-five-minute-fight-ever" crackpot has returned, and this time with a new death metal theme song! I'll try to go into more details about how any why he came back later, but for now, just know it's all pretty damn outrageous. Did I mention he's now sporting a new form made of GOLD!? That's right! Hot off the cat-walk, here comes Frieza, sporting the latest in menacing Japanese villain attire. "You got the gold chains?" "Bitch, I AM THE GOLD!!!"

I'm sure I'll come up with more jokes regarding gold later, but for now, let's move on. Goku and Vegeta (after the events of the last movie) have been training hard with Whiz, that blue person who is way too happy to just watch the world(s) burn. Beerus is there as well, but plays no major part in this movie, other than eating a lot of food and complaining about irrelevant things, usually involving said food.

Because we cannot seem to get Emperor Pilaf out of these stories, he and his gang are still around, trying to find the dragon balls (again). They are then apprehended by a former minion of Frieza's, Sorbet (because why WOULDN'T that be his name!?). Sorbet's icy delicious goal, is to revive Frieza with the dragon balls and use their technology to put him back together; after Future Trunks went all slicey-dicey on his then cyborg-ass. Somehow, this actually works, and Frieza is back to taunt us about scouters and power levels all over again with his then scaly ass!

Where would a Dragon Ball Z storyline be, without the main heroes of the story being thousands of light-years away from the danger happening on Earth? Well, they'd be outside of the realm of clich├ęs for once, that's where. Unfortunately, that's where this movie starts out... and stays... for a long time. But in some ways, that's okay. I mean, let's face it; did you really come to this movie theater and sit through that crappy pre-show for any reason other than to watch Goku and Vegeta beat the ever-living crap out of Frieza's now golden ass!? That's what I thought. Well you get that and more here! Yes, Akira Toriyama listened to the complaints about the first movie having such a short amount of fighting in it, and decided to completely up the ante. This time, the movie has almost ALL fighting and less of a story, don'tcha know.

And again, it's O-KAY if the fighting is the only reason you came. This is Dragon Ball 'Effing Z, is it not!? If I come into a new Sailor Moon movie, it'd better have Usagi flirting up a storm with Tuxedo Mask, while shooting magic beams out of her tiara, or I'm asking for my damn money back! It's just the principle of the thing. In this case, you expect shouting, grunting, powering up, and changing hair colors. That's their thing. It's what they do.

So was the movie ultimately satisfying? Yes, I'd say it was. It hit all the right notes that you look for in this type of series, even if it didn't speak much regarding the grand scheme of things, and where in the hell this is all going. Perhaps by the next movie (and yes, there WILL be a next movie!), we'll have a clearer picture of where this is all going. In the meantime, feel free to re-watch Frieza getting destroyed again and again in glorious high definition!

8 Out Of 10

This was another fun romp, but this series needs to stop resorting to the same old tropes, or else people are going to get bored real fast. Luckily, we haven't reached that point yet, but jeez, I don't want to either!!! But seriously, where can I pre-order that new Super Saiyan God Goku figure? >_>

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

No comments:

Post a Comment